Hummingbird_Healing_Center

Human Chemistry = V4 Factor

Funk & Wagnalls defines compatibility merely as “capable of existing together.” Yet, the definition of compatibility, popularly termed “chemistry” has been overworked and incorrectly employed as a descriptor in the growing quest for a suitable partner – one that supposedly possesses similar beliefs and interests but in reality caters to the libido. Acting on this chemistry is characteristically a “First World” and/or Western custom.

What is it that brings two persons to the point of intrigue and attraction? Why does one or both begin to pursue the other? After years of dating, using astrology, bio-rhythms, numerology, and dating sites unsuccessfully, the author has determined that it is not the letters exchanged, the phone calls, the like-interests or anything on paper that works. Requested opinions expressed here only touch on how relationships last as they mainly address the beginning phase of attraction.

OPINION – TB: I believe that the first part of an attraction to another is very much sexual desire. My softness is the “Mediterranean Look.” It may just be the "galloping hornies" that gets you through the night, but for it to be a long lasting relationship, there has to be more common ground.

Throughout human history, parents selected mates for their offspring. Family fortunes and continued lineages were the only consideration. One may be familiar with Tevia on “Fiddler on the Roof” declaring his rights as “the Papa!” One such right was to choose his daughter’s husband, aided by the town matchmaker of course. It was unheard of to marry for ‘love.’ Indeed, in some cultures this selection process still exists. There is no initial sexual attraction other than the mystery of the unknown.

OPINION – SM: Physically, it comes down to the flesh; it's what one feels when watching some other person. Psychologically, there has to be a combination of familiarity and difference – someone that shares your ideas but also has new and exciting ideas. And then from what I can tell money makes girls horny. Men with money are powerful, and power is sexy. Also, as far as one night stand – not knowing someone is a thrill (example: Last Tango in Paris.)

Linking a full moon with romance, love, and fertility has been common in ancient culture and modern thought alike. Gypsy potions, witches spells, and amulets, charms, and all sorts of gadgets have been used to attract a lover. This V4 Factor has worn many faces and has been sought after for generations. Additional methods have also included tarot card readings, palm readings, sooth saying, Runes, and the cave-man’s ever-popular dragging off the virgin by brute force.

Early astrology was practiced as the ultimate authority of guaranteeing a good match according to date, time, and place of birth. Many heavenly aspects came into play with planets’ alignments being favorable or not. Sun signs had to be in a particular angle to one another before an astrologer would give their okay. When six months separated the sun signs, such as Taurus and Scorpio, it was an 180 degree separation, thereby verifying the “opposites attract” saying. If a person’s sun sign was Aries and their moon sign was Gemini, their perfect match would be a Gemini sun sign with an Aries moon.

“According to astrology, celestial phenomena reflect or govern human activity on the principle of 'as above, so below', so that the twelve signs are held to represent twelve basic personality types or characteristic modes of expression.” (Mayo, “Teach Yourself Astrology.”) It is the twelve personalities, matched and blended together that perpetuate compatibility. To truly have been of use, one had to totally abide by the beliefs of the astrologers. Chinese astrology didn’t follow planetary alignments, but equatorial divisions of the Earth were used. Parental control was especially strong and they relied heavily on this method of astrology to create solid matches. Note again that the emphasis was not on physical attraction.

OPINION – CD: The reason we have such problems with marriage is that we get married for lust (V4) but we stay married for compatibility. However, even in marriages with great compatibility the urge to feel that V4 factor again with a new partner is strong. If this drive wasn't in us all, the human race would have died out a long time ago.

Bio-rhythms is touted to be a scientific mode to measure one’s mental, physical, and emotional highs and lows also using a person’s birth date. The more similar one’s body rhythms are, the more two persons are said to ebb and flow with one another. Depending on one opinion, it is best to be on the same “wave length.” Opposition says that to be helpful within a relationship two persons need to be within 50 to 70% compatible. That way, if one tends to be emotionally high, they can be of assistance to their partner who would presumably be at an emotional low at the same time. To have a totally satisfying sexual relationship, the physical bio-rhythm compatibility must be at a greater scale percentage.

Numerology is a fascinating conglomerate of numbers. Each letter of the alphabet is assigned a number (from one to 26). Each digit of one’s birth date, time, and place is also added and then reduced to a single number. Each number is then assigned characteristics and is compared to a suitor. For example, the name ANN would be A=1 N=14 N=14; 1+14+14=29; 2+9=11; 1+1= 2 Thusly, the name Ann has a numeric value of “2”. Added to the numeric values of the rest of Ann’s statistics would determine her final numeric value. A perfect match would also be a “2.” Then, various combinations would have different predictions of a successful relationship.

OPINION – DZ: All those systems out there claim to have an influence on us. I'm sure each one, if it were the sole system, it probably would be something worth noting; but when you literally have many systems, they cancel each other out for the most part.

OPINION – RP: Some things make sense, some don't in trying to figure out the mysteries of human attraction to the opposite sex.

Recently developed, there are many other personality, chemistry, and profile tests offered by the more popular dating web sites such as “Match.com,” “Yahoo Personals,” “Singlesnet,” “Plenty of Fish,” “E-Harmony,” and the like. Each of these will analyze one’s personality and compare them with another participant’s personality hoping to connect the persons with the love of their lonely existence. Notice I didn’t say lonely life. Is it really living to allow someone else to do all the decision making concerning one of the most important things a person can experience – a relationship with another human being!

OPINION – RP: These guys you meet "on site" are by and large "trollers" looking for a bed partner.

OPINION – KS: There was a time and a place where relationships meant something, and were relatively available. But, we live in a time, now, that is superficial at best, and psychopathic at worst. All the divining and rationalizing, chemical sequencing, testing and evaluating aren’t going to amount to a hill of beans, unless you know who you are and what you’re attracted to.

How does the chemistry begin? My favorite, although not original, definition is that “love at first sight is lust with potential.”

OPINION – DZ: To me astrology, numerology and all those things deal with compatibility. Two people can be compatible as far as any of those systems go but that does not mean there is chemistry – the V4 Factor – the thing that really counts. Indeed, two people can be incompatible by the standards of those systems, yet if there is chemistry there, it can work.

OPINION – BM: It is the social interaction between physical attraction and the mind. That’s what makes things ‘pop’.

OPINION – SN: Physical attraction is appearance, smile, also personality.

OPINION – GL: I have been matched with men with 86 to 97% compatibility (on paper). None of the matches have gone anywhere. Why? Because the V4 Factor was missing.

So, what is that V4 Factor? Certainly it varies with age, sex, and experiences. It is the smile that creates tingles on one’s skin; it is the voice close to one’s ear that leaves one breathless; it is the way one’s hair either is long and flowing or short and curly according to personal preferences; it is the soft lips begging to be kissed, it is the pink tongue licking those lips seductively; it is the moustache one wants to feel gliding over their skin; it is the cleavage pushing toward the neckline or the whisps of hair peaking out of the shirt; it is the way the other person’s charm lures one into their energy; it is falling deeply into one’s eyes; it is the way the totality of the person assaults one’s being to the core that creates the male’s erection or the female’s wetness. It is the energy exchanged by physically touching; it is one’s scent; it is the taste of the first kiss. All of that V4 Factor, and more, in varying combinations, is what brings one back for more.

OPINION – SC: … body chemistry certainly is a valuable aspect of the courting/mating ritual, however those chemical reactions do dwindle...they are designed to only attract, and entice.

OPINION – KS: We got caught up between what was – and how we were expected to live up to it, long after its death/cremation – and what is now – and how we inadvertently put ourselves in the position of catering to it like indentured servants.

At one time, only physical attraction was the essence that created the instinctive drive to reproduce – thereby making certain the human race would survive. Today we are still slaves to this human chemistry – a chemical compound of testosterone and estrogen.

From “howlifeworks.com” -- What drives one person into the arms of another? According to Dr. Virgil Amend, the answer lies partly in the body's powerful air-borne chemical hormones called Pheromones. Production of these chemicals stems from our evolutionary need to find a mate and reproduce. Smelling these pheromones stimulate the limbic region of the brain, also known as the 'Seat of Emotions'. This area of the brain is responsible for our emotions and sexual attraction.”

FINAL OPINION – Author: Chemistry between two persons that brings them together needs to be truthfully defined as a combination of individual preferences and pheromones that creates lust.
It is the V4 Factor – the va-va-va-voom!
(Thank you, Art Carney, “The Honeymooners”!)

In order for the attraction to progress, however, it is my belief, and the expressed opinions of others herein, that “common ground” or “compatibilities” must exist. Upbringing, ethnic values, past experiences, and general life issues are often not considered during that initial attraction phase as it has been learned they must be, to ensure long lasting compatibility.

Contributors:
DZ – 63, divorced male
GL – 62, divorced female
KS – 45, single female
RP – 63, married male
SC – 55, divorced female
BM – 27, single male
SN – 50, married female
CD – 62, married male
SM – 37, married male
TB – 61 – divorced male

posted by Shirley @ Tuesday, August 25, 2009