The Technical Adventure Begins
This, technically, is day two of adhering to a strict food program of no sugar or flour. Technically, the fruit I ate yesterday had sugar. Technically, the 2 grams of sugar in the salad dressing was just that -- sugar; although I am allowed that. But, I did not have any flour.
Today, I already had my one serving of fruit. AND there are donuts on the break room table -- just chock full of sugar and flour. Hmmmm, well, it's only day two of the food program and "technically" I could start again tomorrow. The question is - would I? Nope. One bite and I'd have to have another and another until the donut is done. And, most likely have another donut later on in the day. I'm opting for the technical -- and in a world of "almosts" this food program is "technical."
Ain't technology grand?
“Killing me softly with sweetness”
The tv hero is grazed by a bullet or stabbed and they bravely wrap up the injury to curb the bleeding and go about their merry way – usually running for their life, etc. Nothing is ever said about pain It is ignored. What are these heroes made of?
I cut my toenail too short and practically did the same thing – antiseptic gel and off to work. But I felt it from time to time during the day. Two days later I dropped a chair on it and let me be the first to tell you I am not made of the same stuff of tv heroes! By now the toe took on a reddish hue and I figured I really bruised it. . … even limped a bit. I started wearing sandals so it had room as the swelling would be going down – which it did until three days later when I tripped, barefoot, on my carpet sweeper. This injury brought me to tears and I bled profusely. It hurt like hell. Injury upon injury upon injury.
A person has “one” bite of a piece of cake, or chocolate, or cinnamon roll and the sugar injury begins. Bite after bite of putting that into one’s system is injury upon injury upon injury. And, like the tv hero, they are running for their lives in trying to avoid the consequences of the sugar poison. They are hurting themselves and go about their merry way. Until the pain becomes too great.
Pain from sugar? Yes, most evident, weight gain and all the social implications that go along with it – emotional pain. Internal damage making some organs work harder, stressing the metabolism, and some shutting down – unseen physical pain that cause dis-ease with one’s body: diabetes, hypertension, kidney failure.
Reality Check – Sugar is sweet poison that is putting injury upon injury upon injury on our bodies. And the sad thing is, it is as insidious as alcohol or tobacco or street drugs… because it all makes one feel good… because it is all-comforting for whatever one perceives their life’s problems to be.
Reality check - Sugar kills.
Day Twelve
Hmmm... thought things would be better by now. The past days have just shown me how UN-DISCIPLINED I have become -- how used to "changing my goals" I've become to suit my daily whims. I suppose learning things about oneself is a good thing.
Life changing decision today - it only took 12 days of trying things on my own to understand that I need help. Prayer - #1 because my strength and motivation come from a personal relationship with my higher power. Association with like-minded individuals - #2 because dietary counseling can help with ideas for discipline. Motivation - #3 because my health is at risk.
So, I admit that I have an eating disorder that has led me through many ups and downs. Eight days ago I thought (for the umpteenth time that my motivation was solid.) I guess it was getting there, for now my motivation has led me to continued stimulus.... and it is NOT medicinal! yea!
DAY FOUR
How many times, over the past years have I started a post by saying "Day One" ? Too many times. And too many attempts that have been messed up by chocolate or cheese cake or chocolate cheese cake....
Friend Mark said "an addict is always an addict." I'd heard that before but not really believed it. All of a sudden I understood -- I am the only one that can overcome addiction. If I allow myself the wrong foods, I will slink back into the abysmal pool of poor me...
So, have been studying and learning about self love and self respect. My dear God, I'm 64 - wouldn't you think I'd know about that by now? No - habits and life-patterns have been too ingrained.
Having read Gabor Mate's interview on "Discovery Now" [supplied by Friend Carl] I came face to face with old ideas that do not ring true any longer. In a nutshell - we are responsible for our selves - mind, body, and spirit, and can not attribute problems to genetics. It's all conditioning.
Mark introduced me to some Taoist breathing/sounds; 5-organs meditation. What a stimulating and healing this has been giving me now for 4 days. And four days of "green smoothies" and four days of knowing I'm responsible for me.... really knowing it.
